Stop

What if you face a moment in your life that makes you stop, stop and think about your life, stop and focus on breathing, stop and prepare yourself to face facts, stop and prepare yourself for news- good or bad?

For the past two something years something in me has bugged me physically and last weekend it all came to the surface again. And it made me stop. For the past few days I have been going through in my mind alot of things about my life, what I have experienced, what I have gone through to be the person that I am today, what if there is something that will change my path, what if I’m sick, what if it is serious. And it scares me.

During these days I have started to think about life in general. People take it for granted too easily. Yes I have made mistakes in my life and I have to live with them. But at the end of the day everything I have experienced in my life have made me the person that I am today. On top of my list has been the love of my life. What if I’m really sick, how will she take it, will she be there for me, can she take it all, how will our lives turn. I want a life with her. It scares me alot that what if I’m sick, that this thing is something serious.

I’m almost a nurse by profession and now I know what is the downside of it, when you get sick you start wondering what is wrong, trying to find options online, reading about them and it messes your head up. So my mom and my woman said that I should stop, cause it doesn’t do any good for me to read about things online.

These days I haven’t had energy to do much. My mom has been really nice to me and invented things for me to do to get my mind of from this thing that is bugging me and it has helped.

All I want now is to know what is wrong with me.

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